The Devil's Tool: The Sequel
by Batwings79
Summary: Re-posting a short story first published here in 2012 - written in response to the introduction of an electric toaster in canon - please remember to plant your tongue firmly in cheek when reading this series of 4 drabble-ish chapters. It was a truly humorous delight to write these drabbles back in the day, I hope you can still find humor in them!


Title: **The Devil's Tool: The Sequel**  
Category: TV Shows » Downton Abbey  
Author: Batwings79  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: K+  
Genre: General  
Published: 10-07-12, Updated: 10-07-12  
Chapters: 4, Words: 1,536

**Chapter 1: Chapter 1**

_**A/N: Okay, okay…I just couldn't resist a sequel after tonight's episode of Downton Abbey. Hope you enjoy reading my first true 100-word Drabble! ;-)**_

_**Disclaimer: They ALL still belong to Julian Fellowes but let's face it, I called the toaster idea long before Fellowes thought of it…I still think he's trolling us! But in the meantime, I can't confirm it so I can only say…no copyright infringement intended!**_

Charles head shot up above the back of the settee when he heard the footmen outside her parlor door.

"No, Jimmy, put the bucket away" came Alfred's voice through the locked door, "It's probably just Mrs. Hughes making toast again."

"That was a close one," whispered Elsie as she kissed his ear and reached up to pull Charles back down into her embrace.

She sat up beside him when she felt his spine go rigid and turn to look in the direction of his wild-eyed stare…just in time to see his undershorts catch fire where they lay atop her toaster!

* * *

**Chapter 2: Chapter 2**

_**A/N: Okay, now I'm being silly but I'm on a roll at the moment and I'm going to go with it. Dowtonismylife asked for a second chapter so here you go!**_

_**Disclaimer remains the same – the toaster idea was mine first Fellowes so I feel free to write these sequels – but still, no copyright infringement is intended!**_

Charles jumped out of her arms and began to scurry around the parlor in circles muttering to himself.

"Think man, think!"

He watched in horror as the ledger sheets on her desk began to smoke and flame.

"Must put it out before we lose anything else!"

Making the decision, he strode to the door and turned the key in the lock. Opening the door, he quickly grabbed the bucket of sand from a surprised James and slammed the door in his face.

Turning, he threw the entire contents of the bucket over her desk making certain that most of it ended up inside the toaster.

"There! That should take care of the problem!" _Permanently_, he thought to himself with a smug smile.

Opening the parlor door again, he shoved the empty bucket back into the hands of the astonished footman.

"Well? What are you looking at?"

When the footman blushed and looked down at the floor, Charles glanced down and realized that he had failed to replace any of his clothing when he disentangled himself from his lover's arms.

Thinking quickly he spouted, "I didn't want my livery to catch fire!"

_**A/N2: I hope I'm at least half as funny as I think I am at the moment, otherwise your review won't be nearly as positive as I hope it will be! THANKS!**_

* * *

**Chapter 3: Chapter 3**

_**A/N: Now the hilarity factor is beginning to wind down and we've definitely entered the realm of AU with this chapter but I hope that it continues to at least bring a smile to your face as you read a bit of the story from Elsie's point of view!**_

_**Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended – just a smile and laugh, is all I ask in return!**_

She watched as he paced circles around her parlor and thought to herself, _He's so cute when he's flustered…naked and flustered._

She knew the moment he came to a conclusion because of the glint in his eye and the way his brow quirked.

She wasn't even very surprised when he failed to put on his clothes before opening her parlor door.

What she could not fathom was the mound of sand sitting on her desk where once an electric toaster stood.

She grabbed her dress from the floor beside the settee and fastened enough buttons to maintain her modesty before walking up behind him and pushing him out into the hallway. Slamming the door behind him, she quickly turned the key in the lock.

Growing increasingly more insistent, she tuned out his knocking and the sound of his voice pleading for her to let him in and stood staring at her sand covered desk.

Out in the hallway, Alfred and James were joined by Thomas and O'Brien as they watched Mr. Carson banging away on her parlor door.

"Mrs. Hughes…Elsie…let me in, please?"' After several long moments of knocking and pleading, the door suddenly flew open and there she stood, face like a thunderhead holding the toaster as it dripped a steady stream of sand onto the floor at her feet.

"You are not to step one foot inside this parlor until I am able to make my own toast at my own desk once more," she ground out evenly as she shoved the toaster against his bare chest and slammed the door shut once again.

Turning around, he found his four staff members trying their best to keep the grins off their faces as the sand from the toaster continued to dribble down the front of him.

"Not a word out of you lot, not one word," he intoned gravely as he shoved the toaster into the arms of a snickering Alfred.

He squared his shoulders and spun on his heel to walk his dignified butler's walk to his own pantry where he kept a spare livery. He paused only a moment when he heard the voice of Mr. Barrow behind him.

"I'd be careful, if I were you, Mr. Carson. Sand can be _very_ irritating to…_sensitive_ skin."

* * *

**Chapter 4: Chapter 4**

_**A/N: And here is the conclusion to our story. Not nearly as funny as the first three but I hope it meets expectations!**_

_**Disclaimer: Fellowes will probably do this bit in Series 4…but in the meantime, no copyright infringement intended!**_

It was rather late when she returned from her trip to the village. She'd gone to purchase material for a new dress and stopped into a local shop to have her evening tea. It had been over a fortnight since the incident in her parlor and Charles had not replaced her toaster or even come by to apologize for destroying it.

She hung her hat and coat on the hook beneath the backstairs and turned to walk down the hallway. Glancing ahead, she thought she caught sight of him standing in the doorway of his pantry but when she looked again, all she could see were shifting shadows. If that's the way it was to be, she would be more than happy to grant his wish.

She found the door to her parlor slightly ajar and pushed it open with her foot. She couldn't remember leaving the lamp on next to the settee but she must have, in her haste to get away after lunch. Turning to set the bolts of fabric down on the desk she discovered a large box wrapped in blue paper and tied with a huge white satin ribbon.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she dropped everything into her deskchair and reached for the ribbon. Tearing at the paper, she finally lifted the lid on the box and a soft smile slowly spread across her face. She lifted the shiny chrome toaster and set it in the middle of the desk. Judging by the soft texture and the fragrant aroma, the second object in the box must have been baked by Mrs. Patmore just that morning.

Hearing the sound of a shoe scuffing against the floorboards at her parlor door, she turned to see Charles standing there with a tea tray in his hands.

"I thought you might like some butter and jam for your toast," he said softly and nodded down at the saucers set on the tray amongst the bottle of wine and the two crystal goblets.

She was of a mind to make him suffer just a while longer since he'd not bothered to speak to her for the past two weeks but she found that one look into his dark expressive eyes was all it took to melt her heart completely.

She motioned for him to come in and set the tray down on the table in front of the settee. Closing the door, she walked over to sit next to him in front of the fire. She waited until he had poured out the wine and they'd both had the chance to take a deep breath to relax. She smiled to herself when she felt his arm slide tentatively around her shoulders.

"Perhaps I'll show you how to make toast," she said quietly as she leaned against him and reached up to stroke his cheek, "…for your breakfast."

"I think I'd like that very much," he whispered against her lips before losing himself to her kiss.

_**A/N2: Couldn't leave them angry and apart, now could I! I do hope you enjoyed this sudden burst of creativity…now if only I can channel this kind of energy into other works! **_


End file.
